Of Wheels and Faith

I've never really been much scared of death. I can cross the street with cars still moving on both directions, and I have more than once experienced almost being run over by a motorcycle, but not for once have I felt blood rush through my veins and my heart thump so fast, that I just looked at the drivers of the motorcyles and raise an eyebrow at them.


Death (my death) to me, is not taboo but I've never really given much thought as to when I would die, how I would die, or who I would die in the arms of. Of course, I know that I would always die in the hands of my Savior, and at that time, death would not be a lost but a gain. But I haven't given much thought to who (human) would be there if I died, who would have held my hand for the last time, be near me through my last breath.

And perhaps, it's because I'm sure that death would come as surely, and when I've reached that point, I'm not fearful because I know that I've been assured of eternal life.

What I fear about, mostly, is being left behind by the important people who die before me, or simply those who leave my life. It's not because I'm scared of the sorrow, if it's pain we're talking about, I pretty much have a long threshold for it.

It's mostly because no matter how much you love someone, it is not in your hands if they will stay. And perhaps that the scary part, loving and not knowing when you're gonna have to learn to stop loving. It's like tradition, so hard to unlearn until it becomes so obsolete, it just doesn't make sense anymore.

God decides who go in and out of our lives. He decides who will stay, He decides when it's time for people to take a different road, different from the ones we're walking on. When it's time to let go of someone, I've learnt that it's not because God simply wants to cause you sorrow, it's because that person has served his/her purpose of helping mold who you are and it's time for someone else new to help you grow.

While undoubtedly, being left behind is not something so easily sugar-coated, in due time, I think the feeling of being thankful when we look back is also undoubtful.

The Lord ultimately plans our life, He acts on behalf of those who wait for Him (Isaiah 64:4). If there are people He plucks out of your life, trust that He knows what He's doing. It's never your loss, because God completes whatever hole there is in your life. He may bring back people in your life again, He may not. If He doesn't, it's always because there are better people He'll put in your life. The important thing is to trust Him.

Isn't it wonderful that Someone who loves us SO MUCH acts on our behalf? Trust in His love, He has NEVER failed.